Tuesday, February 12, 2008

M [man] - W [woman] + V [Valentines Day] = S [Scrooge] ???

I walked into WalMart today with my 102.4 degree temperature, freezing cold because of the ridiculous weather, then nearly getting killed by ladies car who was going a little to fast on the ice for her own good. However what really capped off my WalMart excursion was the walk up to the medicine aisle. If Hannah Montana isn't enough to give you sensory overload then you have to walk past the rows (and I mean rows) of Valentines Day stuff. It happened without me realizing it. In fact I didn't even really plan on it. Freud would probably say it was some pent up-subconscious emotion coming out. What was it, you say?


Now I could totally plead the fifth on this one and say that I was sick and that Freud doesn't know what he is talking about but you know (so would I) that I'm lying. There is no doubt in my mind that walking past that stuff really does kind of make me frustrated. Especially when you meet new people and they ask you if you are married; all the time. Especially when you meet a nice girl and she's on a completely different ideological spectrum then you are. Especially when all the other things in my life that constitute the drama of me continue to rear there heads, ironically, around this "holiday of love".

I don't talk about this stuff much because in many ways I am fine with being single. It's not like I am purposely trying to stay single but I am enjoying it till the right time. In fact, I seem to be more "ok" with being single then many of the other people who continually try and set me up so I won't be single. You know how it goes, these are the people who harass you about your marital status and then when you confide in them about your own frustrations they drop the "Well, God has someone for you" line. That's when I just sit there wondering what is the point of talking to anyone about this stuff. It just seems everyone else is as lost on it as I am.

Now, I wanted to share a little something that I have done for the past 3 years that takes away a lot of my frustration when bombarded with questions, V-Day decorations, etc. It may seem ridiculous and it probably is but it does help me and I know from conversations that I've heard in the past couple days it may help others. I call it my solution to the equation.

"And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming." Genesis 24:63

This verse just made me laugh so hard the other day. Here is this amazing love story and you have Isaac going out to the field praying/meditating; the perfect start to an evangelical "notebook". If I were him I would be doing the same thing if my father just sent his servant to find my wife! Scary stuff! Anyway, you have this amazing build up in the verse and then Isaac looks up, and BEHOLD....the camels were coming!


I mean this is horrible exegesis but it just made me laugh cause this is what I feel like all the time!This is the first part of "overcoming" the scrooge equation. Many times we expect to look up and see the "perfect" girl and instead of seeing her we see camels. Now i'm not calling women camels here but you see what I'm saying! V-Day always seems to bring about reminders of disappointments and failures in past adventures (or misadventures) in the game of love! We look up to the horizon expecting to see our future wife and BEHOLD; camels! Yet, the story continues and they live happily ever after (sort of). It's a horrible example I know but still it fits! Disappointments may abound but still, there is something around the bend even if it's not in sight yet! Especially when our heavenly Father is in charge; which leads to my second point.

Another aspect of defeating the inner scrooge is examining the Bible and God's role in any and all love stories. It amazes me that we ask God for so many things but we seem to leave Him out of our relationships. Maybe because of the stereotype that Bible schools have but that shouldn't make us cut God out of writing a love story. I believe this with all my heart and I may be wrong but I believe that God is going to write my own. He's going to guide me through it and He will make sure I don't miss it. Do I believe that I'll be in a chapel one day and God's going to go: "My son, behold, your wife." Honestly...no! But I still believe He's going to be there! Why?

"Who can find a virtuous woman?" Pr. 31:10
*seems to be a question on my lips all the time (and ladies I'm speaking romantically here, I know many ladies of virtue!)
"...and a prudent wife is from the LORD." Pr. 19:14
*that's good
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Pr. 18:22

These versus continue to remind me that although it may seem "hopeless" or the "bah-hum-bugs" may still slip out, God knows what He's doing. If I stay after Him, He will give the prudent wife. Does that alleviate me of my part, of course not. However, He knows who she is NOW and that gives Him the edge over me! I'll trust Him to guide my steps to wherever she may be!

The final step, at least in my life, of pushing back the inner Scrooge revolves around another Scripture and a practical way to "vent" my V-Day blues.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know you concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of you life." (Philippians 4:6-7; The Message)

Prayer, as cliche as it sounds, is a practical way to vent the frustrations. God knows it. He created us. He knows what we want, even before we do! If that "want" is out of place, He'll let us know! He may even let us utilize that want in another way. When I was in High School I started what I now call the "wife box". Basically it's got a collections of letters, stuff, etc. that I plan on giving my future wife. About three years ago, when I was in full V-Day Scrooge mode, I decided to actually just buy a V-Day card for my wife.

Why not? I know someday I may marry. Why not start it now? It would be harder to forget to do it if I did it before I knew her right? Surprisingly this has been an amazing thing that defangs any feelings of Scrooge!

After picking up my throat medicine, I walked right up to that aisle(s) with the V-Day stuff and picked up a card for my wife and checked out. I may not have a specific someone to celebrate V-Day with but God knows I'm not going to boycott love. Someday I will be in it and right now I love my Savior. That seems to be enough for me.~



"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:13-14