Monday, February 25, 2008

The Negotiables: Stuck Being Single

"Hello. My Name is Matt".

"Hello, Matt".

"I've been single now for about 3 1/2 years and I've not had a relapse since."

*insert clapping*

I apologize for the pathetic opening to this blog but I have to tell you, that is what I feel like I'm doing whenever I seem to fall into these conversations concerning singleness. It seems like no matter where I go people just can't believe I'm still single! It's more of a shock to them then it is me! I seem to be the only one who is ok with my current marital status. It's only when other people keep harassing me about it that I get annoyed. It's also when I see the following that I get even more perturbed:


This was the list of things which a Pastor was looking for in a youth pastor as it appeared on the AGTS job opportunity board. Now, I don't know the Pastor and he/she is entitled to their opinion. God made them leader and I have no problem with how they lead but this creates quite a frustration for me!

First, as if it is not bad enough to constantly have to answer the stupid single question and feel the stares as if I have three heads cause I'm not with someone, now I am starting to wonder if it's even possible for me to get turned down because of it! I have an answer to this question and I shall return to it but looking at this stupid picture caused the thought.

Second, I would think that we would foster an environment where we promote people being in love! Not force a litmus test! Not make people rush the marriage process or the finding a mate just so they can have a job! I can make myself learn to play the guitar. I can't make myself fall in love with someone~!

Third, Why is it that many people, when they find out you are not married, look at you like you haven't arrived yet! You really are not a grown up! You have to prove yourself as one after they find out your not married when, if you were, they would presuppose some type of "maturity". Granted, there are things that only a married person can know but I don't remember reading that my immaturity is guilty until proven other wise?

I believe I am going to wed someday. In fact I know I am because God has spoken to me in the past about it and even now He leads me on it. That said, I find a lot of times these type of conversations or signs on a bulletin board can have a certain affect on a person that can lead one to make brash decisions or really start to doubt God. When those thoughts come into my mind a certain story pops in to confront them.

Abraham was promised a son even though he and his wife were well passed the "production" stage of their relationship. In many ways it was a laughable idea. Now, I'm not relating this story because of the obvious relationship, sexual, marriage tones but being the good exegete that I am I look for the heart of the story. Which I believe is: does God respect His promises?

It seems like whenever faced with these "Ishmael" moments we can so easily take things into our own hands! I could easily say that this is a sign that I should get married and go out and find someone! Yet, I can't because I know what God has promised me! I could try and make something fit God's plan but I can't cause that's exactly what Abraham tried to do and look what happened! Many times, as I proved at the opening, it's easy to get mad at the Pastor for playing the Evangelical Yenta, however I do believe this could be the hand of God shutting the door towards that specific ministry for me. Which I would say is a sign of the opposite of which I would normally expect yet still clearly a sign even if I don't like it! The promises of God can face many moments like the bulletin board however what ever happens, God's brought me this far and He isn't going to let me down now! I can't negotiate the promise of God to fit my own whim. And most of all I can't force the will of God into my life without missing a possible "better blessing" if I had just remained patient! If I make it a negotiable, then that might make Satan a bidder. Something God isn't to fond of~


"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:13-14