Sunday, May 25, 2008

Reoccuring Dream (s)

The dream starts off like it did the last week I had it. I'm in a basement, with many cloudy windows all around me, running from a large snake which is invisible but not soundless. I can never see it but no matter where I run to, I always come back to circular stairs. I run up to the top, and as I turn to hear if it is following I feel something wrap around me. Then I wake up.

There are a few dreams which I always have. This one is the most recent reoccurring dream that started my junior year of college. I've always chalked this one up to my mortal fear of snakes and that the snake is a metaphor for some type of difficulty I am going through and my dream is a reflection of that fear being played out in my subconscious. Sounds incredibly psychological but it's not the only one I've continued having.

The first reoccurring dream I remember I thank my mother for. She loved to watch Godzilla movies, and when I'm not running from a snake, I'm running from Godzilla. Anyway, this is getting too scary so let me get back to my last reoccurring dream before I get to my main point.

The last dream I have is rotating around my wedding day. I am standing at the altar of a church, decked out in a really nice tux. (Strangely I don't know the color, I just know it's a tux) Then beautiful music starts to play and I can see my family smiling around me. As I make more and more friends they are added to the crowd who come to watch the blessed occasion. Then toward the back of the church, the door opens and a man steps in with his daughter close to his side. (odd there are no bridesmaids, groomsmen, or anything else which normally proceeds this particular procession) As she begins to walk down the aisle, I can only see her gown, her beautiful hair (and I do know what color that is) and her father who brings her to me and gives her away. Oddly I never remember his face but I know it's her dad. He lifts the veil to kiss her but I can't make out her face. He brings it back down and I take her up to the altar. As I go to lift up the veil, I wake up.

This dream has frustrated me more then any of my other dreams. It frustrates me because this dream typifies much of what aggravates me in this life. I'm not only talking here of getting married, or for that matter watching everyone else getting married, I'm talking about how all of life seems to be a pursuit of something that is unobtainable. And when you get in reach of it, real life smacks you back down to reality. It's like that feeling you have when you get back from vacation, complete and utter frustration.

I am convinced that people are divided into two types. The first are those who have an expectancy or dream which, when it doesn't get fulfilled stop dreaming and hate the pursuit. Then there are those who dream and pursue and even though they do not find what they are looking for they enjoy the journey anyway. I do not know if we ever will arrive at complete fulfillment this side of heaven. I don't think we can. I think there are always going to be 'desires' we have where just as we are about to reach them, we wake up. I do not believe however that it is because our desires are to big for God to fulfill, I just think something which we could not fathom is awaiting us instead.

Being the good Bible scholar that I am, I was ecstatic many years ago when I found out that this is actually in Scripture! My preferred version of this verse is the KJV because it just flows naturally. Listen: "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Corinthians 13:12)

The question then is which is more valuable to us; the journey or the destination? The second question then is, is the question I just asked an either/or fallacy. Why only those two options? Why do we make it so it has to be one or the other? It seems to me that the point of all of heaven is that while this earth is no where near the glory of heaven there still is a taste of heaven here.

I look at the dream concerning my wedding as just a taste of the things I desire. My ultimate example is seeing Christ face to face. My pursuit of Christ is very much like my pursuit of this mystery lady except the roles are reversed (as weird as that sounds) and I'm walking down an aisle that continues on and on and on until someday I will meet Him face to face. There won't be more ahead of me, just Him. That is why I believe the journey is just as important as the destination. I may be impatient and want that veil lifted now but life, subconscious dreams, and Scripture dramatically reminds me that He will be the one to lift the veil,

or maybe even it tear it?

"Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen." (Rev. 1:7)
"And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads."(Rev. 22:4)


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"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:13-14